about cleaning the ocean and becoming a pirate

On being a hippy:
Last weekend i was so lucky to be able to be apart of World Wildlife Funds, in cooperation with the norwegian state, course in how to clean up after oil spills. I had my doubts about how fun this weekend could actually be, after looking at the program, but decided to do it anyway. I mean, we got free lunch and two free dinners at quite a nice restaurant, so i wasn't going to miss out! It turned out to be better than expected. The two main speakers where from Fiskebøl, in Lofoten, which says it all. Their company, consisting of 70 people, is twice the size of the towns population.. They were of course very norwegian- fisherman like, which for those of you who doesn't know what that is, ill try to explain.

this is VERY generalized! Norwegian fisherman, especially from Lofoten, have a very thick "L" for one thing, they have their own sense of humor which usually consists of stories that are remembered by a wink and/or a nod and a small sentence that makes sure NO ONE else has a clue as to what they are laughing about. They drink their coffee strong and black with maybe a sugar on the side, milk is for pussys, slurping as they sip from the cup (some might even pour it on to their saucer and slurp it from there) and think that they are the only ones who know anything about REAL manly man fishing, because the weather doesnt ever get as bad as it does in Lofoten. And no matter how harsh times you have had, they have ALWAYS had it worse. (they usually have as well). Their english; so-so.. they don't need it, why would they leave Lofoten, and who do these americans think they are?!

Anyway, now that we know that, these two guys, very concerned about the ocean and environment were very keen and passionate which made the course a fair bit more interesting, as power-point, by power-point went by. They managed of course to say a lot about how terrible americans are at cleaning up oil, and if THEY, the true men of the north had had a real chance of cleaning up the oil in the gulf last year, the world would pretty much be a much better place. It seems as if we might have had world peace if these guys had lead the way, no task is too small, apparently.
Knowing this, we tried our best to please these people and to make them proud as we sat around a 2 by 2 meter pool full of oil and tried to clean it all out. Its amazing how slow this work actually is, we were 5 people on this little area and spent 45 min cleaning the oil out! But its effective and it works.
My german greenpeace friend doesn't understand why all the people on the oil-cleaning pictures are so happy, i tried explaining to her that its either from all the free stuff one gets for being a "volunteer" that makes everyone so happy or the fumes one is constantly sniffing, but that didn't go down very well. Maybe its just from their great love of cleaning up oil instead, who knows. I was quite happy though, and so was my stomach after the weekend, sound mind, sound body...
SO when the next oil spill happens, i will be down in the muck and the mile and enjoying the free stuff, looking happy on pictures, sniffing the oil and doing the dirty work. I am a qualified oil-spill-cleaner, yes i am.

On becoming a pirate:
Its important when becoming a UNIS student that one knows how to drive a small boat, a.k.a Zodiacs. Don't ask me why this is important seeing as we are not allowed to borrow the zodiacs UNIS has, and we have no trips involving a zodiac, but hey im not complaining, i got to play around in a boat.
Day one of the course started out well, we learned how to put the boat together and how the engine works and so on. For a small boat, it sure has a big engine, i guess it needs to have to be able to go through these waters. However, the course took a quick turn in a completely new direction when the OTHER group, not mine, managed to blow up the floor of one of the boats.. well done.. so the rest of the day was spent inhaling glue on the floor, repairing what we had broken. I quite like fixing rafts, and this is practically the same, so two stars in the book later, the boat was good as new, maybe even better i would say as the cocky norwegian that i am.
Day two was even more exciting as we got to drive our own boat on the ocean. I don't know who's idea it was to put students like us, by ourselves, in our own boat, in the arctic ocean and just say: go, play... whose ever idea this was, THANK YOU. We were all looking quite stupid in our survival suits (see picture below), with a rifle and a flair gun bumping around in the boat, but thats whats needed up here.A word of precaution, dont wear a signal gun around your waist when jumping around in a boat, as landing on it will give bruising.
We were three happy monkeys in my boat and zooming around, jumping on waves, trying to surf and seeing how fast the boat could possibly go was quite an adventure. I dont think i can explain our face as we drove off, but it looked on some as if their jaw wasn't able to handle the hugeness of their smile.
It was quite windy actually and so we had great waves to jump along and really got to know what its like driving in rougher water. (nothing near rough water in Lofoten, of course)

of course, after lunch, in true style, things took a different turn again.. ANOTHER group managed to break their boat. No one knows how they actually managed it, but the whole front of the boat deflated and they needed to be towed in to land. Coincidentally this was the same group that exploded the floor the previous day.. need i say more? nay.
6 hours later, one boat less and no survival suit, we three monkeys were quite happy with the days proceedings and felt that yes, we are quite good drivers of this fine machinery, maybe even exceptionally good. Maybe even good enough to start doing this for a living, all we are missing is an arctic parrot, some rum and for my sake a beard.
YARR..

pics

Back on the range

Since coming back from the glacier trip life has been busy. The weekend was mostly spent on repairing broken equipment, unpacking and washing, and not to mention moving in to a different barrack in which we will hopefully be living for the rest of the school year. Sunday came and went on “Longyearbreen” that’s located behind the student housing, working on techniques and rope-work. All in the name of Arctic Nature Guide.

The start of the week was used on learning glaciology with the glaciologist and Scotsman Doug Ben and evaluation in groups of the trip with a presentation. The group presentations will be found on the website: www.arcticnatureguide.no in a short time.

Glaciology is very interesting, especially when you have a crazy Scotsman who’s “been there, done that” teaching you. But all work and no play makes jack a dull boy, and so it was time again to shake things up. Therefore, the last three days have been spent at the shooting range, shooting of course, learning about polar bear encounters and most importantly, how to avoid these encounters to the best of our knowledge. That being said, polar bears are very unpredictable and all the information man has been able to gather about them doesn’t really amount to anything. The bottom line is: you cannot predict a polar bear, you never know what they are going to do or what they are thinking and the only thing one can do is be prepared for anything.
Being prepared means being able to shoot a rifle well sitting or standing at 35 and 100 m targets, shoot flairs, knowing how to handle a revolver and shotguns and being able to set up trip-wires in the correct manner. Its also means one has to be alert, able to scout terrain well and plan trips to the very last detail as to where you choose to walk and where and how to put up camp.

With no previous experience shooting anything with real ammunition before, handling a rifle was a brand new experience for me. I must admit thinking it was quite scary and it’s taken me quite a long time to get used to. After three days of constant shooting, everyone in the class has a sore shoulder from the recoil and I have a bruised lip as well, don’t ask me why, no one could explain to me how I managed that one. It was only on the third day I felt comfortable shooting and didn’t feel as stressed as the days before. Also, shooting when you have all the time in the world between each shot is one thing, but when you have a screaming man behind you and 3 seconds to load and fire each shot, it becomes something completely different. Especially when the target is a charging polar bear.
One might think that shooting a bear this size shouldn’t be a problem; the target is so immense, how could it be possible to miss?? But when one knows that the bears skeleton is so thick that bullets can actually sometimes not penetrate even at point blank ranges, and that the bullet first has to travel through a thick layer of fur and blubber before even reaching something and the vital organs are located underneath the right paw in an area that’s very difficult to shoot at from the front, it becomes a completely different story indeed.
SO we shot, shot and shot some more. Lying down, sitting up, standing, aiming, not aiming.. you name it, we did it. We shot flares, set up trip wires, shot off trip-wires, used shotguns, handguns and revolvers. I never thought I would handle a gun or even a Smith and Wesson 460, that’s something that belongs to western movies more than the outback of the arctic I thought, but apparently I was mistaken! I finally feel that I am a true American and might even consider the NRA… not.

This is only half the shooting course we have, in November we will have dark-scenario shooting which will happen out in the field and will be finished with a written and practical exam. This is no joke, and I think it shows quite well how seriously polar bear safety is considered up here, especially by the guides that want to work up here. This means that not only will I now have to spend my time screwing ice screws and doing knots on glaciers, I also have to lie on the floor in my barrack hall with an empty rifle practicing re-loading and aiming. Its tough being a student again..